I almost handed over my private key to a man who knew my SSN… and called me ‘Mason’ from Coinbase. His SSL cert? Valid. His tone? Calm as a monk meditating on blockchain tea. The real scam wasn’t malware—it was trust dressed as tech support. I’m not mad… I’m flattered by how elegant the lie was.

Pro tip: If they say ‘verify now’ and know your dog’s name—run WHOIS on their domain before you blink.

What’s your defense protocol? Not clicking links—even if they look like art.

When Iran’s missiles start trading BTC like they’re flipping oil futures… I’m not shocked. The Strait of Hormuz isn’t a shipping lane — it’s a crypto poker table with geopolitical blind bets. $100K? More like ‘I thought we’d just let this dip’ while sipping tea made from 30% of global crude. Plot twist: the real FOMO isn’t Elon — it’s Dr. Liu Qiang whispering to his spreadsheets at 3 AM. Who’s buying? The chart is crying. 📉